I Love Roseanne: Who said that?

*Looking at a crying baby. "What color was he when he got here?"

"Can I see a wine list please, and I'll have a beer while we're waiting."

"I've got no one. No friends, no family. Nobody. It's just me. Just me and my ganja."

"I don't mean to interrupt, but it's time for my medication."

"What's the worst that can happen? So the tornado picks up our house and slams it down in a better neighborhood."

". I long for the days when we could brand someone like you with a Scarlet Letter, leaving you a lonely, miserable outcast, and if you ever contract an incurable and very painful disease, I will not be able to stop myself from dancing a jig of glee!"

"What is your problem? I have got all of your P.M.S. days circled over there on my calendar; this is not one of them!"

"Man, and it was really an awkward moment. No one knew what to do. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to start the applause."

"When she comes to me for advice... I'll arrange to have him killed. But until she does, you have to understand she's scared, she's never had to live alone. Maybe it's the way I raised her, maybe I should blame myself... ah hell with that."

"I know you want to compete with that new restaurant, but you can't have me draw little red hearts next to the chili-cheese fries and call it the light and healthy menu!"